ginger: (Default)
There's something a little funny to me that I can't even quite articulate about a single purchase in my checklane at Target consisting of, in its entirety: beer, condoms, a pregnancy test, and diapers. Not in a negative way, necessarily - just .... amusing.
ginger: (Default)
I totally forgot to post this on Tuesday night after work.

Me: How y'all doing tonight?
Guy: Good! Where are you from?
Me: Uh, Michigan originally?
Guy: Oh. Because you just said "y'all."
Me: I did. I just spent the weekend with three fabulous Southern women.
Guy: I'm jealous.
Me: You should be.
ginger: (Default)
Dear Red shoppers, a few minor points:

1. For the love of GOD, why do you people keep insisting on putting your money and coupons on the conveyor belt? One of these days I'm not going to slam my hand on the off-switch fast enough to keep them from getting sucked under the belt, and then they will be gone beyond my ability to retrieve and ten bucks says you will blame me for their loss and go all "Well, I gave you the money, YOU lost it in the conveyor belt, so I've paid." There is a whole counter here for you to put stuff on, PLUS I AM HOLDING OUT MY GODDAMN HAND.

2. "If it doesn't scan, it must be free." Har de fucking har, this is NOT FUNNY under any circumstances. Especially when you're serious. (... really? REALLY? Ugh.)

3. WHY DO YOU LEAVE YOUR DAMN WALLETS IN THE CAR ALL THE TIME?? I'm not talking about "Oh, crap, I just realized I put my wallet in the console at the drive-through and forgot to grab it on my way in here." I'm talking about

"The state requires me to see your ID for this purchase."
"Oh, well, I left it in the car."

or

"Your total is $12.72."
"Oh. I only have $10 cash on me, I left my wallet in the car."

Great. Neither of these issues change the fact that I am required to see your ID and you still owe me two and a half bucks.

Maybe I'm paranoid. I'm fully willing to accept that possibility. But I just don't get the willingness to leave a wallet and its contents - which are, if not dangerous to lose, at least convoluted and annoying to replace - in the car instead of relatively safely located on one's person.

4. Telling your children that I will either reward or punish them is pretty damn obnoxious. No, I am not going to yell at them. (Well, okay. If they're messing around with other people's stuff on the belt or climbing on the counter or whatever, and you're ignoring it, I will tell them to knock it off. But I'm not going to yell at them for asking you for candy.) And I would happily give your three year old a sticker, but we don't have any left, and I will not take the blame for the fact that she's sobbing her little head off now because you told her I would give her one as a bribe for good behavior in the store.

ETA: I almost forgot the "best" one!

Lady: How come you don't have any Christmas music playing?
Me: ... you know, I've never actually noticed that we don't! I'm not sure.
Lady: You should have Christmas music playing.
Me: I do like Christmas music, but I don't get to make the decisions, alas.
Lady: Well, get me a manager. I'm going to stir the pot. (Direct quote. "Stir the pot.")
Me: .... Uh, okay? *flips on lane light for supervisor*
Lady: And not HOLIDAY music either. CHRISTMAS music.
Me: ....
Supervisor (who is frantic and busy): What'cha need?
Me: Uh ... *gestures at Lady*
Lady: How come you don't have any Christmas music playing?
Supervisor: Oh, they stopped that years and years ago. People complained about it.
Lady: Well, I'm complaining now.
Supervisor: All I can suggest is that you fill out a comment card. Anything else?
Lady: No, I just find this offensive.
Me: .....
Supervisor: Uh, have a nice night. *zoom*
Lady: *continues to bitch about the lack of Christmas music and how she feels offended by the way she was just treated by the Supervisor*
Transaction: *is completed*
Me: Have a good night!
Lady: NO. MERRY CHRISTMAS.
ginger: (Default)
Corollary to last week's adorable little-boy's-first-purchase story:

People, if you want your kid to practice buying things, let them do it. I am trying to give your child the chance to make their own purchase - give them a second to figure out what they're doing instead of grabbing their money out of their hands to thrust it at me and talking over them to either answer or rephrase my questions. I am pretty darn sure that the average seven-year-old can answer "Do you want a bag, hon, or do you want to carry your Legos?" He does not need you to repeat it six times, as may be evidenced by the fact that he is TRYING to tell me that he'd rather carry them himself, but just can't manage to be heard over you telling him that "the nice lady" wants to know if he wants a bag. If there is a problem, or Junior panics, or the whole thing starts to take prohibitively long and the back of the line is starting to look hostile, I PROMISE, someone will let you know you need to step in.

Otherwise, if the goal is for the kid to practice making a purchase, just do the mental math before y'all get into line, make sure he's got his money at least mostly in a tidy stack rather than the bills all wadded into individual balls, and then step back and let him buy his damn Legos.

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