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Today's conclusion so far:

Verizon is a bunch of money-grubbing fuckbag assholes who's entire existence is solely focused around lying to their customers and swindling as much money out of them as they possibly can.

... yeah, I already knew this. I don't know WHY they keep insisting on demonstrating it.

When asking one of their online salespeople a question about a particular phone...

Me: I'm looking at the LG Cosmos. I currently have an LG Dare and an LG VX5500 - those two phones have the same charger connector. Can you tell me if the Cosmos has the same connector as well, or if I would have to replace my car charger and other accessories?
Her: I don't know, you'd have to order the phone and find out.

Seriously? SERIOUSLY? Not even "Let me see if I can find out for you," file your nails, "I'm sorry, I am unable to find the answer to your question," just "Dunno, order it and find out." THANKS. GOSH you're helpful.

(Yes, there is a reason that I am still with Verizon even though their customer service blows goats. I text a LOT, and 95% of my texts go to other Verizon users. If I were not on Verizon, this would be way more expensive to everyone involved, because Verizon's texting/data packages include unlimited texts to and from other Verizon users. Also, my brother is on Verizon, and they also do unlimited mobile-to-mobile minutes. Basically, while their customer service reps are monkey-brained lying idiots, their phone service is best in places I go and their plans are best suited to my needs.)
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Dear Verizon: You still suck.

My mom has been using an old prepaid cell phone that belonged to my grandfather, and she only uses it in case of emergencies. So her minutes kept expiring before she used them. This annoyed her. So I offered to get her a phone on our family plan, as it'd be $10/month and we go nowhere near using our minutes, plus this way Mom can call both me and my brother without either using our minutes (he and I are both on Verizon, and Verizon does free calls to other Verizon users) or racking up their long distance bill. Further, she already had an old Verizon phone, so we wouldn't need to put her line on a contract to get a reasonably priced handset.

Non-suck discovery:
The phone she already had is actually too old to activate on a new line of service, as it predates the E-911 feature that is (as far as I know) mandated on all newly-activated cell phones these days. Annoying, but not their fault and not a huge deal. So I bought a basic low-feature flip phone off Craigslist yesterday (from a lady who really absurdly reminded me of the wacky divination teacher from the Harry Potter movies) for $20, including both wall and car chargers, and went (internally cringing) to the Verizon store to get Mom's line set up.

I explained the situation to the Verizon guy -- I have this handset already, I'd like to add a third basic $9.99/month line to my plan with no data or anything extra, 517 area code. I forgot to mention the no-contract bit, which was my bad. However ...

Verizon guy: "Ok, now I need you to sign this right here."
Me: "Oh, I forgot to mention -- since I have the phone already, I'd like to set it up with no contract."
Him: "Yep, you still need to sign this."
Me: "... why am I signing something that says I agree to a termination fee if there's no contract?"
Him: "I promise, you are not signing a contract."
Me: *skeptically, but knowing that I can revoke a contract within the first 30 days anyway* "Alright..." *signs*
Him: *type type type* *calls over manager* *manager type type type* "Okay, now sign this one."
Me: *sees that the thing I am now signing is an affidavit to convert the previously-agreed-on contract end date from 7/27/11 to 7/27/09* *scowl* *sign*

Dude, okay. Tell me the truth -- I forgot to tell you no-contract and you set it up as two-year, so I need to sign the two-year and then adjust the contract date afterwards. That's fine, I know it was my mistake for not mentioning it. Or, if you're really too afraid of me to tell me it's my own fault, tell me the way the system works is that I have to sign a two-year contract and then the manager has to come adjust it because a sales peon can't set up a no-contract line. Whatever.

And yes, it worked out the way I wanted it to in the end. But for the love of cheese, don't assume I'm stupid enough to not look at what I'm signing when I make it obvious to you that I have read it and that I know you're still lying to me about what it says even though I have obviously read it. That makes you look like an ass.

On the bright side, when I got home and called my mom and informed her that I was calling her from her new phone, she was very excited.
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So I sent a revised letter to Verizon's VP of Customer Service via the webform on Saturday morning.

Today, I got a call from Bernadette T in their executive office in Irvine who apologized profusely for the problems I've had, assured me that the managers of the two Bellevue Verizon stores will be contacted to discuss retraining that may be needed for their employees, and ordered up a sparkly new LG Dare that should be delivered to me no later than Thursday.

I am tentatively pleased.

(Also, nice to see, from Verizon's website about the Dare: "Device Software Update – Download software upgrades over the air." I should, touch wood, never have to set foot in a Verizon store again :P )
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Oh, for the love of CHRIST.

You know the used warranty replacement phone I got a couple weeks back, because my original phone was randomly restarting itself? Well, now the used warranty replacement phone is randomly freezing up so hard I have to restart it to get anywhere. This is my only phone, so having it out of commission due to random freezing/restarting is Not Acceptable to me. So I called Verizon tech support.

I was talked through restarting my phone. (Um... because I required handholding assistance to hold the power button until it turned off, then wait 30 seconds and turn it back on?)

I was talked through reprogramming my phone with my phone number. (Because making sure it has the right number will totally affect the random freezing.)

I was talked through removing and reinstalling Mobile Email. (Which still doesn't work.)

Halfway through the reinstall of Mobile Email, my phone froze up again. How ironic.

Then I was informed that I needed to go to a Verizon store (can't you just see the glee and excitement on my face there) and get a software upgrade.


I was told back in August that all future upgrades would be over-the-air and not require me to go into a store. Turns out - shock and awe - the dude in the Bellevue Square Verizon store? Lied.

Per Verizon procedures, they won't can't do any more troubleshooting on my phone til I get that software upgrade done. Never mind that this is my only phone, never mind that it's freezing up (THREE GODDAMN TIMES THIS MORNING, not counting the one while I was on my office landline with the tech support person), never mind that I apparently have a note on my account that says "Lie to this customer and jerk them around as much as you can!" and CERTAINLY never mind that I'd rather pull my toenails out with pliers than go to another Verizon store.

And never mind that rather than troubleshooting my busted-ass phone, the tech support chick would rather talk at me about how she almost forgot her phone at home and was late to work because she went back and got it, and oh look, you can buy "phone-tini" from the Verizon app store, it has 7000 drink recipes!

So now my phone is locking up every time I look at it cross-eyed, and my service provider doesn't particularly seem to care. This is getting ridiculous.
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.... And the third installment in the Verizon Sucks story?

Somehow, my phone has over 100 of someone else's pictures on it. They feature people I don't know, including someone's baby and someone named "Kyle".

All I can think of is that back during the first incident, the scantily clad underage girl's pictures and ringtones (which would explain how the half-dozen rap song ringtones I don't remember downloading got there) got restored onto my phone instead of hers.

Which means that the idiot at the Verizon store who told me that they can't move information from one phone to another of the same type either was lying or didn't know what he was talking about.
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So, as I mentioned in my last Verizon Sucks post, my phone was doing wacky things like inserting extra characters in my text messages and randomly restarting itself. The guy at the Bellevue Square Verizon store assured me that the software upgrade he did would solve those issues, right before he ensured that I would never set foot in that store again.

Well, the update fixed the random extra characters issue, but not the restarting issue. So Friday, Ari (who has also been having phone issues) and I went to the Factoria Verizon store to discuss our phones' various malfunctions and ended up both being offered warranty replacements.

Read more... )

Every time I come in contact with a Verizon employee, I regret switching to Verizon a little bit more. I told the manager of the Factoria store that (after I had both our phones back :P ), and she gaped at me like a fish.

Cripes. The phone service is great. I don't hugely like my phone, but it doesn't suck. But their customer service blows diseased goats. *scowl*
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Not so much with the happy about the Verizon store at Bellevue Square.

Twenty minutes! No. Actual timeline... )

4:05: I call corporate customer service and ask how to make a complaint about a physical store location. The very nice lady on the phone says that they generally recommend that complaints get made through the website, but if I tell her what happened, she'll see if there's anything she *can* do. I start into the story, and she punctuates it with sounds of increasing dismay and shock. Finally, the no-manager-for-fifteen-minutes thing is met with an astonished "Oh my GOD!" and she starts looking up other stores in my area that have the equipment necessary to perform software upgrades, because "I don't know if I'm supposed to say this, but if I were you, I certainly wouldn't be going back to that store any time soon."

My phone is, however, upgraded and has not done either of the originally mentioned weird things since. And none of my purchased ringtones got lost in the upgrade. But yeah, certainly not going back there when I can finally get Dan to let go of his (same model) phone for a couple of hours so I can get it upgraded for him. (He's still on the original version 03 software the phone shipped with - the current version with all the bells and whistles is version 09.) And, thank heaven, future software upgrades will be pushed over the air like the Sidekick upgrades were. Oi.


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December 2016

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